Tomorrow
by Empress of the Eclipse
Summary: What was everything like from Osamu's point of veiw? How did he feel about everything that happened between him and Ken? My 75th fic!


Tomorrow  
By the Empress of the Eclipse  
  
Disclaimer - I don't own Digimon. 'Tomorrow' is a song from the musical 'Annie' but that wasn't an inspiration for the fic (although I was singing the two lines I know all the way through it!)  
I wrote this after watching 'Genesis of Evil'. I was feeling guilty because most people always write Osamu as a jerk and while you can see him like that easily, I suddenly starting thinking what things might be like from his POV. So...this fic was born. I quite like it actually.  
I've made my own time-line and assumed that Osamu would have been the same age as Tai and Matt and Ken is only two years younger. But I might have messed up the ages anyway! But I did try!  
  
"Oh Osamu!"  
Osamu looked up. His mother was back from a walk with Ken. She sounded happy. She let go of Ken's hand and came towards him.  
"Mama?" Ken said, sounding uncertain.  
Mrs Ichijouji didn't seen to notice.  
"All the neighbours came up to me again and told me what a wonderful boy you are! One of them even asked me for an autograph! Can you believe it?" she said, sounding delighted.  
Osamu smiled at her nervously. Behind her, he could see Ken's face drooping.  
"Oh Ken I'm sorry, did you say something?" his mother asked, sounding uninterested.  
"Never mind Mama, it's not important," Ken mumbled before wandering off.  
Osamu looked after his brother, tuning out his mother's comments. He worried about Ken sometimes. It couldn't be nice having a big brother who everyone thought was great. And his parents did ignore Ken all the time...  
And Ken never seemed to talk to him any more.  
They'd been so close but now...now Ken didn't seem to want to know him half the time.  
But what could Osamu do about it? His parents didn't know they were ignoring Ken. And you don't contradict adults. That was something he knew. Even if he didn't want to study, he had to because his parents said so. Studying would make him a better person, a genius who everybody wanted to know, who everybody loved...  
"Osamu, are you listening?"  
"Oh I'm sorry," Osamu said nervously "I was just...thinking."  
"Am I keeping you away from your schoolwork?" his mother said "I'm sorry Osamu. You can go."  
Osamu smiled at her and then turned away. Instead of going into his room, he went into Ken's.  
"Kenny boy?"  
Ken was sitting quietly on the floor. He looked miserable.  
'He never plays with anything. He's always just sitting there.'  
"Kenny boy?"  
"What?"  
Ken looked at him, a glimmer of unhappy anger in his eyes. Osamu swallowed.  
"How's it going kid?"  
"Great."  
Ken turned his small face away.  
"Aren't you supposed to be studying or something?" he muttered.  
"Yeah," Osamu said, his heart sinking "Yeah, I guess."  
Slowly, he walked into his own room and sat down at his desk. Books and papers neatly piled and set out, waiting for him.  
He wanted to go and make sure Ken was happy. He didn't want his little brother to be jealous or miserable. He wanted it to be like when they'd been younger. When he'd taught Ken to blow bubbles on the terrace, when they'd played Ken's wild imaginary games with his little toy animals and been two against the rest of the world. They'd used to be so close.  
But then that had all changed.  
It had been when Ken had started school the first rift had developed. He'd always known that Osamu was clever but the fact that Ken wasn't as clever and the fact that people were always saying "Why can't you be more like Osamu?" had started a rift even at that young age. And then as time had passed, the rift had grown. Ken's resentment becoming palpable, his love smothered by jealousy. It hadn't helped that Osamu had neglected their relationship, spent more time studying than anything else. It had meant that they had grown even further apart. And now Osamu and Ken weren't close at all. Sometimes Osamu felt like they were strangers who shared the same house. He wanted to make it up, make it so they were best friends again, like they had been...  
But he didn't have time. He had to study. He had a test tomorrow. His parents would be so disappointed if he didn't do well. They were always disappointed if he didn't do well. Started talking about how you had to study to do well and he could always do better, he just had to apply himself more...  
'I'll talk to Ken tomorrow' Osamu promised himself as he opened one of his books 'I'll make sure that everything's great between us and we'll be best friends again. Tomorrow.'  
* * * *  
"Osamu dear, how did you do on your test?"  
Osamu swallowed.  
"Um, I got an B+," he whispered.  
His mother's face fell.  
"B+?" she repeated.  
Osamu nodded shame-facedly.  
"Oh honey, you know you can do better than that!" his mother said, sounding as though he'd got an E or something "You're father will be so disappointed. I except straight A's from you, nothing less. You need to study harder!"  
Osamu nodded.  
"I'm sorry Mum," he said softly "I'll do better next time."  
His mother's face softened.  
"I'm sure you will," she said "Now, run and get Ken. He's playing on that terrace again."  
Osamu obeyed. Ken was sitting on the terrace, watching the birds. Two of them were sitting on the railing, chirruping at each other.  
"Look Osamu!" he said pointing "Aren't they pretty?"  
Osamu looked at his brother.  
'You don't know the half of it! It's not fair! Why should YOU get to sit outside and watch birds while I have to study and work because I'M the big brother and the family genius! Why should you get wine and roses while I get the problems?'  
"Osamu?"  
Osamu realised that he was scowling. Ken looked scared.  
'I resent him as much as he resents me! How can we ever fix this?'  
He'd never realised he was jealous of Ken before. He'd known that there were little niggles of envy sometimes when he'd watch Ken playing with a toy while he desperately studied to make his parents proud, or when his mother had called Ken a clever boy for making some stupid finger painting. But he'd never realised that he could really hate his little brother for it, really want to just...  
He stopped the thought before it could fully form. He didn't know what he might be capable of doing to Ken in a fit of anger and he didn't want to know. Never.  
"Osamu?"  
Ken's voice was a terrified whimper now. He was staring at Osamu as though Osamu was a stranger, not his big brother. Osamu opened his mouth to say something but then stopped. He didn't know what to say.  
"Mum wants you in," he said at last "Come on."  
"Okay Osamu."  
Ken crept past him, obviously worried by his anger. Osamu looked after him, then at the birds Ken had been eagerly watching. Free as the wind with no parents to make them study and no brothers who didn't have to.  
"Lucky birds," he muttered "Lucky Ken! No worries, no responsibilities. I wish..."  
He stopped. He'd been about to say 'I wish Ken was the older brother' but he didn't. It was pointless. Wishes never came true, especially not stupid ones like that.  
"Osamu! Your father's home!"  
Slowly, Osamu walked back inside, leaving the birds to themselves. He didn't see a bird of prey swoop down and carry one bird away, leaving the other wheeling and calling helplessly for the other.  
* * * *  
"Osamu?"  
Osamu looked round from his computer, surprised. It was several weeks since he'd realised the extent of his jealousy of his younger brother and he'd done nothing to rectify it. The truth was, he didn't know what to do. It scared him how much he could hate Ken, how much he might end up hating Ken if it was allowed to continue. But he couldn't tell anyone. He was Osamu Ichijouji, genius and completely perfect. He couldn't tell anyone that he was even jealous, let alone of his younger brother.  
"Don't be silly," they'd say "You don't need to be! You're a genius!"  
Which was the root of the problem.  
Realising that he hadn't acknowledged Ken's presence yet, Osamu quickly smiled.  
"Yeah Kenny boy?" he said.  
"Can I come and read in here? My room's cold."  
Osamu grinned, a flicker of excitement in his chest. When they'd been younger, Ken had always read in his room. They hadn't done it for ages now as Ken had drawn away from him. Maybe Ken wanted to make it up now.  
"Sure," he said "Just not too much noise okay?"  
"Studying again?" Ken asked, his voice soft and resentful.  
Osamu nodded.  
"It sucks," he said, smiling conspiratorially at Ken.  
'Please smile, please smile, please smile...'  
Ken's face twitched slightly. Just mentioning studying always got Ken unhappy. He lay on the floor and began reading a book without another word. Osamu swallowed and turned back to his computer, not knowing what to say. The symbols on the screen seemed meaningless now.  
'Why does he have to hate me? I can't help being clever! I don't want to be clever! I want to be normal and have my little brother love me and not be jealous because I'm cleverer than him! And I don't want to be jealous of him either! I know all brothers and sisters get envious of each other but not like this! Not like they feel complete strangers! Why do my parents make me work like this? If they'd leave me alone, maybe I could make everything work out between me and Ken! And then I'd have friends in school! It's not fair!'  
A tear ran down his face. He wiped it away and miserably kept typing. Maybe he ought to speak to Ken, say something. Perhaps he could sort this out now. He opened his mouth...  
...but nothing would come out.  
He couldn't think of anything to say to Ken. Suddenly the rift between them was an endless gulf, infinity and beyond.  
'I don't know him any more! I don't know anything about him! Except that I'm jealous because he doesn't have to do anything except exist!'  
Osamu swallowed and pushed back another tear, his fingers still automatically typing.  
'I'll think of something to say when this is finished. Yeah. Then we can talk...'  
Absently, he looked at the screen, still typing. Then he stopped.  
His screen was glowing.  
"Kenny..."  
Then something shot out of the computer screen. Osamu yelped and ducked. He heard Ken gasp as the something landed on the floor in front of him. Osamu turned and looked.  
Lying on the floor was some sort of strange device, a little like a Tamagotichi or something. It looked harmless but...  
It had just flown out of the computer.  
"Osamu, what is that?" Ken whispered.  
"I'm not sure Kenny boy," Osamu said slowly staring at it "Maybe the computer blew a fuse or something."  
He knew what he was saying was stupid. It couldn't possibly be a fuse. His computer screen was undamaged and it didn't look like a fuse. But what else could it be?  
Reaching out, he lifted up the device.  
"Careful. It might still be hot," Ken whispered.  
Osamu stared at it. Then he shook it slightly, then held it by his ear. He couldn't hear anything.  
"Is there something inside?" Ken asked. He was looking confused and slightly scared. Osamu shook his head.  
"I don't know what this is but I'm going to find out," he said "Now listen to me Kenny boy, whatever you do, don't touch it."  
He didn't want his brother getting hurt. He had no idea what this thing was and he didn't want it exploding or something. He put it in one of his drawers, then walked out, leaving Ken alone.  
He'd go and look it up in an encyclopaedia or something. Or ask one of his teachers. Yeah, that was it. One of his teachers would know what that thing was...  
"Oh Osamu!"  
"Yes Mum?" Osamu said.  
His mother smiled.  
"One of the neighbours just called," she said "Her little niece is having dreadful problems with Maths and I said you'd just love to go over there and help her. After all, you're so good at Maths you know."  
Osamu wanted to scream. He didn't want to, he didn't have time...  
"Yes Mum," he said "Of course I will."  
He slowly gathered his things and walked next door.  
* * * *  
When Osamu got home, he was feeling a strange mixture of anger and upset. Seeing Mrs Akagi's niece and trying to teach her had driven home to him something that he'd known for a while; he couldn't connect with children any more. Mineko Akagi was Ken's age and she'd found him scary. And Osamu hadn't known how to talk to her at all. He'd knew that he'd scared her. But he hadn't known what else to do.  
His rift with Ken was driving him away from everybody.  
'Is that how Ken sees me? Do I scare him?'  
"Where's Ken?" he asked his mother.  
"Oh, I don't know," his mother replied "Somewhere."  
'Does she even care?'  
Osamu peered into Ken's room. He wasn't there.  
"Are you still in my room?" he asked out-loud.  
A flicker of anger went through him. He was too tired for this.  
"You'd better not be touching my stuff!"  
As he opened the door, there was a strange glow in the room. What he next saw, he was sure he imagined.  
Ken suddenly appeared from the floor. It was like he'd fallen out from the computer screen. He was staring at that strange device that had fallen out from the computer screen.  
"Ken!"  
Osamu distinctly heard Ken mutter "Uh oh." Then he turned round. Osamu hadn't seen his brother look so happy for years. His eyes were shining with excitement, his face upturned in a big grin.  
"Just what do you think you're doing?" Osamu demanded, walking over and staring down at him.  
Ken held out the hand holding the device.  
"I didn't break it!" he said proudly.  
Osamu didn't care. He was tired, he was upset and he was scared. Ken had just...fallen out of a computer screen? But that was impossible! What was that thing? And what had Ken been doing? He could have been killed!  
Suddenly furious, he slapped the device out of Ken's hand. Ken's smiled faded into an expression of complete shock.  
"I said don't touch it!" Osamu yelled.  
He saw his brother shrink back, his eyes getting big.  
"Don't touch my things ever again!" Osamu yelled, knowing that he was over-reacting but not caring.  
"I'm sorry," Ken whispered.  
"You have to have respect for people's property Ken," Osamu said, leaning down and picking up the device.  
"I will," Ken whimpered, his eyes trembling with tears.  
"It's too late for that now," Osamu snapped "I already told you not to go in my drawer and you broke my trust. Now I'll never be able to trust you again."  
He knew what he said was harsh. Ken's eyes got really big.  
"But I..." he began.  
Osamu cut him off.  
"What if you'd got hurt?" he demanded angrily "Mum and Dad would have been looking to blame somebody and it would have been me, not you!"  
Ken wilted, his small frame shrinking.  
"I said sorry," he whispered.  
"Now get out," Osamu ordered "I have to study."  
Slowly Ken turned and walked out. Osamu could hear him crying as he left. He sat down at the desk with a thump, feeling awful. He knew that he'd been unfair. He knew that Ken had only been looking at it and he was taking out his own frustrations on his little brother.  
But...but Ken had just fallen out of the computer. So had that thing. Something very weird was going on. Ken could have got hurt! He'd been scared when he'd seen that funny glow. Something was happening, something scary. And Osamu didn't want his little brother to get hurt.  
Did he?  
He could feel the jealousy inside him niggling again. Why didn't Ken have to go through what he did? Why did Ken have to be so care-free and easy? Why was he jealous of Osamu when he definitely had the better life by far?  
Why was he so angry when it wasn't Ken's fault?  
Osamu swallowed hard. The jealous rage ebbed away, leaving a dull ache of unhappiness behind.  
"I'm sorry Ken," he whispered.  
But his brother wasn't in there. He'd already chased him out. Probably crying in his room, hating Osamu all the more.  
Osamu swallowed again and pulled the nearest workbook to him.  
"I'll apologise tomorrow," he whispered "Tomorrow."  
* * * *  
"Kenny boy?"  
Osamu looked at his little brother. Ken didn't look at him. They were walking home from school. Ken was kicking a stone along the pavement.  
"Don't do that," Osamu ordered instinctively.  
Ken scowled and gave the stone a hard kick.  
"Kenny boy?" Osamu said "Say something."  
"Why do you always walk me home?" Ken snapped.  
"Mum and Dad say I have to," Osamu said "And I like to. You're too little to walk yourself."  
"I'm nine years old! I can walk myself!"  
"Mum doesn't agree," Osamu said "But I like to anyway. I like walking you home."  
"Well I don't!" Ken shouted "I don't need you!"  
"Ken..."  
Osamu swallowed. Ken was still upset about what had happened, even though it was a couple of days ago.  
"Ken," he repeated "Come on. Don't be mad. I was worried about you..."  
"You just hate me because I'm not as good as you!" Ken yelled. "Don't be silly," Osamu said "Ken, listen to me!"  
"No! I don't want to! I hate you! I wish you'd disappear!"  
Osamu stared at his brother, completely horrified.  
'I've let things get so awful. Now he really hates me. We're not close any more. He hates me...'  
"Ken, that's a horrible thing to say!" he heard himself saying.  
'No! I don't want to say that! I don't want to shout at him! I want to hug him and make it all better! Not reprove him!'  
But he couldn't help it. His mouth wouldn't stop.  
"What if I did disappear? Then you'd feel really guilty!"  
"No I wouldn't! I wouldn't care! I hate you! I want you to disappear!"  
"Ken, stop saying that!"  
Ken turned away.  
"Just leave me alone!"  
He ran across the road blindly.  
"Ken, come back!"  
Osamu chased after him, berating himself. Too many tomorrow's had passed. Now Ken was miserable, hating him because he was so much of an idiot. He'd let his parents dictate his life for too long, let them order him around for too long. He had to sort this out now. He'd live his life instead of studying and make friends with Ken. He'd been an idiot but that was over. He and Ken would be just fine...  
"Ken!"  
Someone screamed from somewhere. There was a loud shriek of tyres. Then something struck his side with a sharp blow, lifting him up and throwing him. He was struck with such force that he felt one of his shoes coming off.  
"OSAMU!" he heard Ken yell as he hit the ground with a thump.  
Osamu tried to stay focused but his vision was turning dark. His side was hurting so badly...  
"Osamu! Osamu!"  
Osamu forced himself to focus, noticing through the increasing dark veil that his glasses were broken beside him. Ken was standing beside him, staring down in horror, his eyes filled with fear and helplessness. Osamu tried to speak, to reassure his little brother, but he couldn't. The pain had died to a funny sort of ache now and the black veil was dropping again.  
'One too many tomorrow's have passed...'  
Then his eyes were closed and he wasn't thinking any more.  
  
The End 


End file.
